The Misadventures Of The Fleets In Xyth And Its Hitchhikers

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The Misadventures Of The Fleets In Xyth And Its Hitchhikers

Postby Bluewing » Sun Mar 18, 2012 1:17 am

As the title suggests this story (actually a collection of loosely related or unrealated stories) is meant to be more funny than serious and is located in the galaxy of Xyth. What goes on in the (fanmade) Xyth universe besides the giant and epic events that are recorded? You are about to find out.

(Story 1) The creation of Team Nebula. :xy:

*The story begins in the holding bays in a pirate outpost on the edge of XY space.*

Kevin: They aren't paying us enough to watch over this x-lock.
Rick: They are not paying us anything and it is pronounced xyloxi not x-lock.
Kevin: Xyloxi. X-lock. Whats the difference? I am tired of doing extra work without pay. Why don't we just take this x-whatever-you-call-it, leave and make our own team of pirates? One where we get paid for overtime work.
Rick: That is actually a brillant idea I'm glad I thought of it.

*The two pirate defectors leave their posts to prepare their nagatos for a stealthy getaway, including adding stolen telepathy ship controls to their ships. They return to the holding bay and move the stasis pod holding the emerald xyloxi onto Rick's nagato. As Kevin and Rick takeoff a loud warning siren goes off indicating that the xyloxi had been stolen from the holding bays.*

Rick: This is bad. Why did you have to drag me into your idea?
Rick: Did you hear me?
Kevin: Lets just get out of here before we are caught.

*They fly full throtttle into a nearby asteroid belt to hide their ships from view and to hide their ships' mass signatures. Other nagatos start the pursuit but quickly give up due to the lead Rick and Kevin had and due to the danger of flying into an asteroid going at the speed nessasary to catch up to them.*

Rick:*looking at the rear view camera* We lost them. I am glad I thought of ducking into this asteroid belt.
Kevin: *looking ahead* Look ahead!!!

*They are hurtling straight for a huge and slowly spinning asteroid.*

Rick: Why did I have to follow you into this asteroid belt???
Kevin: We don't have enough time to dodge what are we going to do????

*The asteroid spins enough to reveal a hole through it.*

Kevin: Aim for the hole! It is our only hope!

*Due to the size of the asteroid they had misjudged the distance and the hole was in full view before they entered. It took them both through with considerable leeway.*

Rick: Going through that hole was a lifesaver. I'm glad-
Kevin: Don't say it!
Rick: thats over?

*Rick and Kevin search for a suitable spot to build their own pirate base and finally search inside a nebula.*

Kevin: Do you hear something?
Rick: Now that you mention it, I do. It seems to be coming in over the telepathic ship controls.
"???" me..............please....... help............
Rick: Creepy.............
Kevin: Whatever it is it seems like it needs help. What do we have to lose?
Rick: Our nagatos?
Kevin: Where are you "???"?
Rick: It is not "???". "???" is only a designation for it as the writer has not revealed what it is yet.
Kevin: Ok Ok, Thing that we can faintly hear where are you?
Rick: Our ships are pods?
Kevin: No it must be that crystal thing in that stasis pod that is talking. WAIT! That thing can talk? Is it not a giant inanimate object?
Rick: I will open it up and see if it its talking. Since the telepathic ship controls were picking up the signals, I thought our ships were the ones talking.

*Rick puts his nagato on autopilot and goes to the hold and openes up the stasis pod. The emerald xyloxi immedately exits the pod, leaves the ship and starts to re-energize itself with materials from the nebula.*

Emerald Xyloxi: Thank you! Thank you! I am finally free after such a long time. You not only saved me fom those pirates, you also took me to a nebula to recharge. If there is anything I can do for you just name it.
Kevin: We are short team members.........
Emerald Xyloxi: Then I will follow and assist you in any way I can for freeing me. Oh and I have not introduced myself yet. You could never pronounce my name so you can just call me "???".
Kevin: See Rick, Its name was "???" all along.
Kevin: What should we call our new team?
Rick: *Not paying attention and ranting about the monotonous scenery....* Nebula, Nebula.... All I see is more nebula.
Kevin: Team Nebula it is!
Rick: Wait! What?

*And so this unlikely trio became the beginnings of Team Nebula that spreads throughout Xyth.*
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Re: The Misadventures Of The Fleets In Xyth And Its Hitchhik

Postby Japheth » Sun Mar 18, 2012 2:56 am

Awesome! I loved it. Keep up the good work bluewing. Its nice because we have serious story AKA Merged circular alliance and now the misadventures of not going to say full name because its too long ;D
May the force be with you.

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The Misadventures Of The Fleets In Xyth And Its Hitchhikers

Postby Bluewing » Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:11 pm

Thanks for the compliment Japheth. I hope you enjoy the coming stories as well. ;D

(Story 2) The Mith'ri'ael And Rift Demon's Only Fear :mt: :rd:

*An unknown mobile base slowly drifts by an entropic rift. It seems to be a heavily modified part of an abandoned rivi base. An akata patrol shows up on one of their rounds.*

Captain: This is Captain Vein of the akata, Xss Space Wall. Identify yourselves immedately.

*The base reamins silent.*

Crew#22: Maybe no one is home?
Captain: Identify your intentions now or be marked as a pirate.

*The base remains silent.*

Crew#22: I think they all went to that asteroid amusement park we saw not long ago. We should go there and check it out.
Captain: Crewman, are you going to check it out for possible pirates or for its low gravity rollercoasters?
Crew#22: Uhh..... I forgot, I have to clean out the laser cannons.

*Crew#22 hastily exits the bridge.*

Captain: The laser cannons don't need cleaning.....
Science Officer: Sir, I am getting energy distortion readings near the rift.
Captain: Scan the rift and the apparently derelict ship while you are at it.

*A few tense minutes pass as the scans take place.*

Science Oficer: I don't believe this!
Captain: Voice your findings. The rift is producing more of them after such a long time of inactivity, right?
Science officer: Yes but that is not the think I don't believe. The derelict ship is still functional and operating with a crew made up entirely of AI controlled robots.
Crewman#17: Ahhhhhhhhhh! Robot overlord takeover! This is the end!
Crewman#12: Pull yourself together. These robots could never overcome us. And they definitley will never become governer or even a game show winner.
Captain: Enough! We have more pressing matters to attend to. Tactical Officer, we will close in and engage all rift demons that that entropic rift produces. Science Officer, I want you to keep a close eve on the robot infested ship. Tell me if it suddenly changes vectors or activates its weapons.
Tactical & Science Officers: Aye!

*The akata patrol advances on the rift and prepares to engage the hostile energy pockets. Suddenly a small unknown fighter launches from the derelict and heads for the the rift as well. The fighter nimbly dodges the crossfire between the RD and the akata while at the same time firing some kind of reverse energy device that causes the RD to shrink.*

Captain: When did that fighter appear? What is it. Science officer give me answers now!
Science Officer: I think it came from the derelict. I am getting massive energy readings from it and they are steadly rising.
Crew#17: Its going to explode! We are not only going to be taken over by robots but are going to be blown up as well!!!
Crew#12: Pull yourself together. Nothing is going to explode around here.

*An entropic rift demon destabalizes and explodes.*

Crew#12: Ahhhhhh! You were right this time! Everybody panic and run in circles!
Captain: Stop. We have blast resistant armor. Our akata is more than a match for them.

*The port laser cannons are fried by a RD energy blast.*

Captain: (Maybe not........T_T) Broadside them with the starboard laser cannons!
Communications Officer: We are recieving a signal from the fighter.
Captain: Put it on screen now!

*The screen goess black only audio comes through.*

Fighter Pilot: What are you guys doing here? I was asleep until the rift distortion siren went off a few minutes ago. So I came out in my fighter to collect some energy.
Akata's whole crew: (He was asleep the whole time we tried to contact him?? T_T Why does this only happen to us??)
Captain: Who are you?
Fighter Pilot: I am Bluewing. I have made it my goal to keep a semblance of balance and order in this galaxy by keeping the rift demon and mith'ri'aeil populations relatively stable.
Crew#17: The leader of the mith has contacted us! We are doomed!!!!
Bluewing: I am not a mith............... or one of these energy pockets. But I have developed ways to deal with both of them. I have even found a way to use rift energy to fuel my ships and mobile base.
Captain: Give us this technology and we will put in a good word for you to the Xyth Alliance.
Bluewing: I will have to decline. I am afraid of what you might do with this technology or what pirates that steal the tech from you might do.......

*Before the captain can demand the tech his ship's comm and starboard laser cannons are knocked out by another RD energy beam. Seeing that the akata is in trouble Bluewing steps up the pace at which he absorbs the RD's energy rendering the army of them harmless in 10 minutes. The RD then flee to places unknown.*

Captain: I want communications back online. I want that technonogy!
Engineering: Sir, our subspace comms are too far gone to be able to salvage. We will have to return to base to fix them.
Captain: (Why does this happen every time I want advanced tech??) Make it so.
Crew#22: *Enters the bridge.* I am back from uhhhhh... cleaning the laser cannons. Are we going to the asteroid amusement park yet?
Everyone else: NO!!!!!!!

*And so Captain Vein and his crew return to base for repairs while Bluewing continues on to keep more places relatively peaceful and free from RD and MT overrunn.*
"Its not a feature, its a bug." -Rivi'i Tech Support
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Re: The Misadventures Of The Fleets In Xyth And Its Hitchhik

Postby Bluewing » Fri Mar 30, 2012 5:38 pm

(Story 3) The Rocker Squad And Their Clueless Leader :hu:

*This story begins in a run down, dilapidated and nearly abandoned human base near a reigon of space newly claimed by the Caes'cix. Sounds can be heard echoing through its halls that sound like rock music from long ago....*

George: Alright lets go. A one, a two, a one two three four.

*George and a few other people start playing rock music and continue until a red light starts flashing and a warning siren goes off.*

Computer: Beeep Beeep Beep Beep!!!
George: I thought we fixed that uncool sound a while ago.
Steve: I did but this is new. It says here that a Caes'cix group is approaching.

*Steve turn off the siren and light*

George: What kind of band name is that?
Starla: ......Caes'cix is not a band name. I remember hea-
George: Good, Caes'cix is a terrable band name.
Starla:.......... Focus George! Focus!
George: On what?
Everyone else:........... (He is a great lead musician but how can he be so clueless???)
Starla: As I was saying, I heard that the Caes'cix are-
George: Still sounds like a bad band name.
Starla: Gaaaaaaaa!
George: Are you exausted from overwork Starla? You seem a little red.
Everyone else: ................ Just finish the story Starla. Please!
Starla: ........Alright... The things that appeared on radar are giant spacefaring insect-like creatures.
George: What are insects doing in space???? I used to like bug collecting lets see if we can catch one in a jar.
Steve: What part of giant did you not understand?
George: Then we will need a giant jar. There must be one around here somewhere.

*As George looks for a giant jar he Caes'cix come back with reinforcements and head straight for the base.*

Spike: Some giant bug creatures are heading straight for our home! I knew we should have gotten infestation insurance.
Starla: Those aren't just giant bug creatures they are the Caes'cix!
Steve: Are they aggressive? The computer thinks they are dangerous!
Starla: I have heard soeries of them using something callled "fusion energy" to attack.
George: (Back with a jar large enough to fit a Caes'cix in.) Fusion energy? That is mean of the bugs to do. Lets attack them with our own fusion energy!
Steve: We don't have fusion energy.
Everyone else: ......Oh THAT fusion energy. OK, lets do it!

*And so the Rocker Squad get to their modified vectors and head straight for the Caes'cix. The Caes'cix move to intercept only to become totally disoriented as their telepatic radio frequencies are flooded with a fusion of rock, country, heavy metal, ambient, and jazz music.*

George: Encore time! Teach them to never come back here to attack our music studio again. Give them THE POLKA!!!!!!!!

*The Caes'cix are bombarded with polka music to they point that they can't even think any more. The caes'cix scatter in every direction unable to communicate with each other and trying to escape the dreaded polka music.*

Spike: There the bugs go. I guess we didn't need insurance after all.

*A few days later the group is jamming at their favorite spot again*

George: We won that bug battle with music.
Spike: It was totally radical.
Goerge: That gave me an idea for a new song. "Bug Battle Blues."
Steve: What happened to your giant jar?
Goerge: I found a use for it.......

*Back in George's room a giant jar is seen with a Caes'cix drone in it with telepathic ear muffs on to block out the music.*
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Re: The Misadventures Of The Fleets In Xyth And Its Hitchhik

Postby Wv_Hawk_vW » Sat Mar 31, 2012 2:52 am

well, these certainly caused me to laugh. it's the random type of thing you see out of real-life characters, and it never gets old. this hit my tickle button right on the bulls-eye.
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Re: The Misadventures Of The Fleets In Xyth And Its Hitchhik

Postby Bluewing » Mon Apr 02, 2012 1:53 am

(Story 4) Team Nebula Builds Their Base :xy:

*Last we heard from our trio of antiheros they had named themselves Team Nebula. Now they still seem to be wandering aimlessly through nebulas.*

Rick: We have been through a hundred nebulas and not one asteriod is to your liking. We should have used the big one I saw.
Kevin: The big one you saw was a comet made of frozen gases and liquids, also my computer says we have been through only 10.36 nebulas.
Rick: Then your computer is wrong. We have been through one hundred nebulas at least.
Kevin: *Raises his hand over the video comm* How many fingers am I holding up?
Rick: Six.
Kevin: How many hands do I have raised?
Rick: One.
Kevin: How many fingers maximum are there on a hand?
Rick: Five, but I don't see where you are going with this.
Kevin: How many fingers am I holding up on this one hand?
Rick: Six.
Kevin:...................... How is six less than or equal to five?
Rick: Its just is.

*A moment of silence passes as there is no reasonable response for Rick's counting skills.*

Rick: It feels like we have been in nebulas for years. Why couldn't we put a base on that large asteroid I found.
Kevin: I keep telling you that is a comet. Whst we need is a high iron content asteroid. Ask the X-oxen. Even it knows that a comet is bad for what we need.
Rick: All right, I will. By the way it is Xyloxi not X-oxen.
Kevin: That is what I said, X-oxford.

*Another moment of silence ensues for Kevin's inability to get Xyloxi pronounced right. Afterward Rick calls up the Xyloxi named "???" on the telepathic ship controls.*

Rick: Is it true that comets are bad for building bases on, "???"?
"???": For your kind it would cause many problems. You would do better building on an asteroid like the one 15,000 meters to your right.
Rick: What asterid 15,000 meters to our right?
Kevin: You are looking left Rick.
Rick: WOW! what a huge asteroid how come you have not told us that were so close to an asteroid like that?
"???": You never asked.
Rick & Kevin: .......................
*Rick and Kevin both agree that this is the best asteroid so far and have the Xyloxi prepare it for construction.*
Kevin: Rick, You did bring the life support suite didn't you?
Rick: I thought you had it.
Kevin: You mean we left it back at Starport!
Rick: Its not a big loss it was a steal anyway.
Kevin: Not a big loss! We need that to keep our base habitable. You don't want to suffocate do you?
Rick: I knew this would fail. Why did I have to listen to you and try to steal that life support systeem only for you to lose it?
Kevin: You were the one who wanted to steal it and you were the one responsible for it too but arguing over it now will do no good.
Rick: Why don't we use your nagato's life support until I can steal a starbase class life support system.
Kevin: Because you would not lend me your nagato when I needed it in the mean time.
Rick: Yes I would. Just do it.
Kevin: (This is against my better judgment.) OK, I will do it.

*Ric and Kevin use their nagato's firepower to rough hewn a docking bay into the asteroid while "???" uses nebula energy to finely cut its shape out. Kevin then ejects a starbase class energy generator which "???" uses to rig up a crystal hybrid system that generatees power from the nebula itself. Afterwards they all help to erect a paticle shield over the entrance to keep an atmosphere in the docking bay and Rick releases the stock pile of O2 and N2 in cansters stored on his nagato's cargo bay. Last against his better judgment, Kevin removes his nagato's life support system and attatches it to the base.*

Rick: Wonderful, we finally have our own base!
Kevin: And we will be payed for overtime!.......But......a docking bay isn't much of a base.....and we still need to line it with steel.
Rick: We can do that later. For now lets let "???" upgrade my nagato with those crystal thrusters which regenerate fuel in nebulas.
Kevin: Don't you mean our nagatos?
Rick: Yours doesn't have life support.
Kevin: ......................

*A few days later after "???" has completed an calibrated the upgrades Kevin is ready to go and replenesh the rations for the base.*

Kevin: I am ready for grocery duty.
Rick: Your nagato doesn't have life support.
Kevin: You said you would lend me yours.
Rick: I don't remember this.
Kevin: ......................

*To Be Continued.*
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Re: The Misadventures Of The Fleets In Xyth And Its Hitchhik

Postby idea bulb » Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:04 am

Good job bluewing in createing the three stooges in space!
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The Misadventures Of The Fleets In Xyth And Its Hitchhikers

Postby Bluewing » Tue Apr 03, 2012 5:31 am

(Story 5) Rick's Supply Trip And Adventure In Starbase :hu:

*We find Rick of Team Nebula heading alone to a starbase to replenish supplies.*

Rick: I can't believe Kevin made ME go grocery shopping just because I wouldn't lend him my nagato. He knows I don't know the difference between a tomato and a potato. .......I guess that comes from spending your entire life in space. You never learn what your food comes from.

*Rick nears the docking bay.*

Rick: Hey wait........ this is the same starbase that I tried stealing the life suport from. I hope they don't recognize me.

*Rick docks his nagato and exits the docking bay. As he is walking down the hall he notices a poster with a familiar face on it.*

Rick: (Who is that good looking face on that poster...... Wait, its me! Hmmm and up above W-A-N-T-E-D...... Wanted? I am wanted??!?? OH NO! I am a wanted criminal! I never wanted to be a criminal, just a humble space pirate! I better hide fast!)

*Rick starts to run off just before he hears a voice behind him.*

Citizen#5972.56: Hey you stop! Wait! Come back here! I found him!

*Rick turns a corner and dives behind some barrels just before the alerted citizens catch up.*

Citizen#15237.22: He went around that corner after him! He must not leave!

*The mob of alerted citizens turn the corner and race past the barrels where Rick was hiding.*

Rick: (Good, they are gone. I need a disguise and fast!)
Unknown Person: Hey you behind the barrels move over. Your are in my spot.
Rick: Who are you?
Unknown Person: I am a space hitchhiker. I make a living by selling these silly disguises that are plastic black glasses with a fake nose and mustache.
Rick: (This is convenient.) I'll take ten!
Hitchhiker: That will be thirty Xyth credits.
Rick: ....... I am not sure I can afford to give you that much. Would fourty Xyth credits be enough?
Hitchhiker: Deal!

*Rick pays the hitchhiker 42 Xyth credits and recieves 10 disguises. Rick then puts on a disguise and puts the rest in the bag and leaves. (Yes, Rick is that bad at counting.)*

Rick: Now that no one will recognize me, time to do the grocery shopping.

*Rick goess to the grocery centers on the starbase, grabs a cart and sterts grabbing random items and throwing them in.*

Rick: Hmmmmmm. The first things on the list Kevin gave me is milk, eggs cheese and flour. It would help if I knew what those things were. Oh well, if I grab enough stuff I am bound to get the right items sooner or later.

*Rick continues to grab random items until the cart is stuffed full.*

Rick: Time to check out. (Its too risky to steal the stuff now that I am wanted.)

*Rick goes to the shortest check out line which is still quite long and waits his turn. In the mean time the citizen behind him starts up a conversation.*

Citizen#12003.77: Do I know you? You seem familiar to me.
Rick: *Ahem* (In a deep voice) No, no you do not.
Citizen#12003.77: I just can't shake the feeling I have seen someone like you in a poster somewhere before. I guess I am being over imaginative.
Rick: (Deep Voice) Yes, yes you are.
Citizen#12003.77: Wouldn't it be funny if you were someone famous for something huge.
Rick: (Deep voice) I guess it would be.......
Citizen#12003.77:There I am taking a stranger's ear off again but since I am why don 't I tell you this story about a huge battle I heard about a while ago. First there was this alliance......... .....and these commanders .......names ...........dreadnoughts........ .....Technomancers ........ ....... Rivi'i ........... Mith'ri'ael ........... ....... and so.... .......then ............. until........... but......... then ........... suprisingly.......... ...... ....... ..... .... ... ... Finally ................... and that is how it happened. Oh look you are next to check out.

*Rick suddenly wakes from the trance he fell into having to listen to such a long story and checks out his items. He overpays for them but since the cashier and the ringup machine CAN count he ends up being refunded the difference. He then overpays a delivery guy to take the items to his nagato.*

Rick: (Time to get out of here before this disguise fails me.)
Hitchhiker: Look who is still wearing my disguise. Its the guy who was behind the barrels in my usual spot near the docking bays.
Mob of Citizens: WHAAAAT? Him? Now we know why he looks familiar!
Rick: (Better run now! Why did that hitchhiker have show up now and give me away!)

*Rick dashes off to the docking bays with the mob in hot pursuit.*

Mob of citizens: Stop! Come back! Don't let him leave Starbase!

*Rick dashes around a corner only to run into and fall all over security. His disguise also flies off and onto the ground.*

Rick: (NOW I'VE DONE IT! There is no more hope for me. At least I hope I am payed for overtime community service working.....)
Security: Where are you off to in such a hurry? Oh! Its him! Come with us now!
Rick: ......Yes officers...........

*The officers take him to the the headquarters of Everair Corporation which makes life support systems like the one he tried to steal.*

Security: We have found him sir.
Corp. President: Excellent. You may leave now.
Security: Yes sir.
Rick: (Here it comes I am in HUGE trouble!)
Corp. President: As you may know we wanted you here beacuse eye witneses saw you move one of our base class life support systems from our delivery warehouse to the docking bay.
Rick: (Just get the punishment verdict over with already!)
Corp. President: We thank you deeply for this, as we would have had to contract out for it to be moved there since our own machine was down for maintenance.
Rick: (Just as I thought! I am doomed! Wait what? What did he just say?!?)
Corp. President: To show our gratitude we would like you to accept thiss chek for your service to our company.
Rick: Th-thank y-you s-sir! (I am not doomed. I have no idea what just happened but I am not doomed!!!!!)
Corp. President: We sincerely haope you will spread the word about our quality products and have a nice day. (That guy seemed frightened at first. I knew we shouldn't have let our head guard design that poster.)
Rick: I will sir. Thank you sir. Goodby.

*Rick leaves headquarters and heads back to his nagato stuffed with food. Along the way he finds his wanted poster and reads the fine pront below it. "If you see this man do not let him leave starbase until he has come to Everair Corperation headquarters to collect his reward."*

Rick: (Would have been nice to have known that sooner. At least I know why everyone was chaseing me then.)
Fan#23: There is one of those Team Nebula guys from the hilarious fanfiction mini-story series. Lets mob him and get his autograph.
Rick: OH NO!

*Rick runs for his life away from a mob of fans wanting his autograph.*

Rick: I must hide! But how........ I Know!

*Rick puts on another one of the disguises.*

Fan#6: Where did he go. The only person here now is this oddly familiar guy with a plastic looking nose and mustache.
Fan#17: Oh well.... lets go.......

*The fans leave and Rick finally makes it back to his nagato and heads back to Team Nebula's base. Thus ends Rick's adventure in starbase.*
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Re: The Misadventures Of The Fleets In Xyth And Its Hitchhik

Postby Bluewing » Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:47 am

(Story 6) All Things In Vein :hu:

*Captain Vein pursues a Rivi'i scoutship that has stolen a piece of junk marked as an important new superweapon.*

Captain Vein: Fire the new proton torpedos and knock out their engines out from under them!
Crew#5: We don't have proton torpedos! They were only empty hulls stuffed with junk to trick the Rivi'i thieves.
Captain Vein: Use the long range lasers then. I know they ARE real.
Engineering Comm: Captain! Status Report! our Primary and secondary lasers and railguns are offline! Somehow a Rivi'i saboteur has managet to infiltrate engineeering and fry our laser battery capacitors and our short out our railgun circuitry. By our estimates it will take exactly 3.753295516 days before they are repaired.
Captain Vein: Arrgh! Do we have ANY functionig armaments? (Do I have computers or engineers down in engineering?)
Engineering Comm: We still do have our short range anti-fighter particle cannons.
Captain Vein: Take us in close and disable their engines!

*The Xss Space Wall increses its thrust to catch up to the agile Rivi'i scoutship which in turn uses one of its stolen "proton torpedoes" on the Space Wall. It hits with a resounding thud and leaves a large dent on the starboard bow.*

Crewman#17: We are hit! Our Akata is going to sink! Man the lifeboats!
All the other crew: Sink? In space?!? It is not possible to sink in space!
Crewman#17: Man the lifeboats our Akata is going to explode!
Engineering Comm: There is only a 0.0000000000000000000000000000001% chance that an impact of the magnitude we just experienced would cause any rapid and spontaneous expansion of matter on this ship.
All the other crew: (Is engineering even human?)
Captain Vein: Men! Pull yourselves together. We have a Rivi'i thief to catch!

*The scoutship attempts to flee to the gate leading back to their own sector as they realize that the "proton torpedo" wasa dud. The Space Wall pursues but slowly and surely looses ground as the Rivi'i scoutship is too fast for it.*

Captain Vein: They are getting away! Engineering! Do whatever you have to do, I want those lasers online and firing NOW!
Engineering Comm: To do what you have commanded would require research of and the completion of a transtemporal device and retroactively redefining the couse of the time-space continuum. Even then your goal might not be attainable.

*During the long engineering speech the Rivi'i scoutship escapes through the gate.*

Captain Vein: .......They escaped.... I must report this to the Xyth high Command........

*Meanwhile in Rivi'i space. (Conversation translated from Rivi'i speech for your convenience.)*

Rivi'i scout crew1: We have the new Human weapons for our own war fleets but what do they do?
Rivi'i scout crew2: Apparently not what we thought at fiirst at it did not explode on impact. Our engineers back at the Dreadnought should beable to find out though.
Rivi'i scout crew1: I don't know about you but our engineers don't even seem Rivi'i. They are more like talking computers.
Dreadnought: This is Home Dreadnought #2,517. Come in Scout #1337. Do you have the Human made Proton Torpedoes?
Rivi'i scout crew1: Yes we do.
Dreadnought: Excellent, dock at the engineering by immediately for evaluation and reverse engineering the the Human technology.

*The scout docks and hands the stolen "Proton Torpedoes" to the Rivi'i engineers.*

Rivi'i engineers: The evaluation could take anywhere form 1.55549032 hours to 43.22088927 days.
Rivi'i scout crew1:(I told you they were not Rivi'i but computers.)
Rivi'i scout crew2:(Wow, how did they get like this?)
Rivi'i scout crew1:(I believe it was math or science or reading and watching too many science fiction shows set in space.)
Rivi'icommander: What are you two mumbling about now?
Rivi'i scout crew1&2: Um... nothing?

*Rivi'i scout crew1 and Rivi'i scout crew2 quickly leave to their hive rooms before more questions are asked. The Rivi'i engineers continue their evaluation of the new Human weapon and finish in just under 2 hours.*

Rivi'i engineers: We have finished our inspecton of the Human Proton Torpedos. They are misnamed.
Rivi'i Commander: And?
Rivi'i engineers: They are misnamed.
Rivi'i Commander: .......... What do they do?
Rivi'i engineers: Nothing.
Rivi'i Commander: Nothing?!? What are they good for?
Rivi'i engineers: Scrap. They are filled with various junk parts athat are good for nothing except as inferior scrap metal.
Rivi'i Commander: Argh! This wasn't even worth stealing! Why would the humans make such a useless weapon?
Rivi'i engineers: To trick the gullible.
Rivi'i Commander:.................

*And so it turns out that both the Rivi'i's and captain Vein's attempts were to achieve great things were all in vain. One can not help but wonder if anyone come out better off than the other? (Perhaps the scrap salesman at the intergalactic junkyard became better off beacuse of this. :p )
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Re: The Misadventures Of The Fleets In Xyth And Its Hitchhik

Postby DEEP SPACE » Wed Dec 12, 2012 5:13 pm

Looks like both Vein and the RV had a scraptastic day! ;D
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Re: The Misadventures Of The Fleets In Xyth And Its Hitchhik

Postby Wv_Hawk_vW » Sat Sep 14, 2013 10:21 pm

This has fallen to the second page.

I must rectify this.
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