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Note, this has little to do with the primary storyline and only shares the nameless shogun (and everything under his command) and a few races.
During their ongoing mission, the muerteuntergang pirate gang known only as the Juggernoughts are rescuing the fair Aphrodite from the slimy monster known as Dengar, a mighty electron-sorcerer who can manipulate objects from afar!
Dengar: Mwuhahaha!!! My dear lady, what shall I cook for you, hmm? would you prefer pizza or hamburgers? well? speak to me! *dengar turns around* oh, right. *dengar removes the gag and cuffs from Aphrodite*
Aphrodite: what kind of an insane maniac captures someone only to act like she is his wife?!
Dengar: only me, my lady. Trust me, once i can trust that you won't run away the moment I untie you, i will. but until then, you are going to have to stay there. and don't bother trying to break the lock, it's made of diamond steel, and trying to pick it will only zap the crap out of you.
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Aphrodite is in an abdominal lock. basically, its a vest wrapped around your abdomin, and the lock is on your back. it is very effective for tethering someone when you want to leave their arms and legs free to use.
Aphrodite: I'm not going to eat whatever you give me.
Dengar: somehow, I have a hard time believing a person who hasn't eaten in four days could possibly resist a hot meal. *dengar puts down a plate of pizza and Aphrodite gets on her knees and starts snarfing it down* Just as i th--
*suddenly, the door slams open; dengar reflexively uses his electron sorcery to cuff and gag Aphrodite*
Brutus: alright, dengar, hand over the princess!
Killsnake: yeah! or else I will take your fucking cock and shove it up your very own ass!
Brutus: please, killsnake, not with the satellite monitoring us.
Dengar: Hah! i have a hard time understanding why you would want to take princess Aphrodite away from paradise! but if you insist, I shall meet your terms and conditions-- But, you must do something for me.
Brutus: what must we do?
Dengar: Get my riddles right and i will hand over the princess.
Brutus: spit it out already!
Dengar; First think of the person who lives in disguise, Who deals in secrets and tells naught but lies, Next tell me what's always the last thing to mend, The middle of middle and end of the end? And finally give me the sound often heard, During the search for a hard-to-find word. Now string them together, and answer me this, Which creature would you be unwilling to kiss?
Brutus: its a spider.
Dengar: very good! now, What goes on four legs in the morning, on two legs at noon, and on three legs in the evening?
five minutes later
Dengar: OW! OWW!!!
*killsnake is holding dengar with his hands behind his back, with one hand, and by his hair with the other, while brutus beats the crap out of him*
Killsnake: sorry, we are Juggernoughts.
Dengar: but it's not fair! you got the riddle wrong!
*brutus decks dengar, then killsnake lets him go long enough to pull out a blaster and shoots dengar in the chest. then brutus pulls out a sword and removes one of dengar's hands. killsnake grabs the sword and starts repeatedly stabbing dengar over and over and over*
Brutus: keep stabbing him! stab him until his very blood is bleeding! oh hell, look at what that damn bastard did to you. lets get you out of this. *brutus removes the cuffs, gag, and the abdominal lock*
Dengar: But! it's GAHH!!! not! FAIR!!!
Killsnake: I'm not through with you! *kill snake starts pummling dengar*
Brutus: lets go killsnake.
Dengar: Gah!... when the moon eclipses on the fifth day of the third month of the fifty-sixth year of the --
Killsnake: shut up before i make good on my previous threat!
Dengar: second millenium after the birth of the son of the creater of the universe, my power will be infinite! i can even defeat--
Killsnake: ALRIGHT YOU ASKED FOR IT!!!!!
*killsnake tackles dengar into his throne and starts ripping him apart; he shreds all his clothing, rips off his unmentionable, and shoves it up his ass*
Brutus: ouch, that's going to hurt after a while if he survives.
Shogun: I thought i told you that all i wanted was for you to pay the ransom.
*brutus and killsnake jump out of their skin as they realize their boss was watching them this whole time*
Brutus: WOAH!!! but-- but-- but-- he was raping her and he was torturing her and--
Aphrodite: hes lying.
Killsnake: shut up bitch! *killsnake backhand-slaps aphrodite*
Shogun: i figured as much. your fired. oh, and sinse you are the one holding my ransom money, where is it?
Brutus: my ship.
Shogun: you mean the one i destroyed trying to find it?
Shogun: sinse you aren't telling me, *shogun draws his sword, removes brutus's left arm, and sheathes it all in one swift stroke*
Brutus: ARGH!!! MOTHRFUCKINGDAMMIT MY ARM!!!
Shogun: you are losing your other if you don't tell me where it is.
Killsnake: I ATE IT!!!
*shogun slices killsnake's belly open and pulls out the plastic-bagged check he wrote to the Juggernoughts*
Shogun: lets go, aphrodite. next time, i suggest you keep your language clean if you are bugged. *shogun locks them in as he shuts the door* Galaxos, beam dengar directly to sickbay and then bombard this place.
Rudy: aye sir.
*a single bullet comes screaming out of orbit and the entire throneroom is obliterated*
Shogun: alright. did you let him or did he kidnap you?
Aphrodite: I suspect vancleef hired dengar. he only hires gentlemanly criminals to work for him.
Shogun: makes sense. *shogun and aphrodite enter the manta-ray* 20% thrust, aphrodite, the gravity of this planet is weak so let's not waste fuel.
*manta-ray takes off immediately and soon goes into space*
Computer: now landing on galaxos. hands off the controls, no need to cause a crash landing due to pilot error.
*shogun and aphrodite both release the manta-ray's controls*
Computer: Landing complete. you may now exit the craft.
*shogun and aphrodite leave the manta-ray and shogun goes straight to the medical bay*
Dengar: your medical techniques are superior to any i have ever seen. nobody has ever been able to regrow a decapitated limb in 10 minutes flat, and surely nobody has ever been able to heal a stab through the chest.
Shogun: how long does he have?
Doctor: his wounds looked worse than they really were, the barbarians weren't very exact in their attempt to kill. i think they were more after quenching their bloodthirst than killing him.
Shogun: how long does he have to live, doc?
Doctor: well, how old did you say you were?
Doctor: he has approximately 73 years assuming he doesn't get shot and killed, or experience disease.
Dengar: seriously? I'll live to be 90?
Doctor: that's how long you'll live as long as you recieve proper treatment throughout your life, and so long as you don't get yourself murdered.
Shogun: alright. may i have a moment with him?
*the doctor leaves the room*
Dengar: before you ask, my client not only paid me to let him remain anonymous but he was untrusting enough to stay anonymous even after the deal was made. he was going to double my pay for succeeding in delivering aphrodite to the coordinants X54 Y78 Z92.
Shogun: and what if he isn't at those coordinants?
Dengar: i may have gotten them wrong, my memory has always been faulty when dealing with numbers, hence why i hated being an accountant.
Shogun: if i paid you, would they be accurate?
Dengar: even if you gave me the universe i couldn't be sure. i hate mathes and i especially hate remembering numbers, except my woman's phone number.
Shogun: alright then. Rudy, set a course for alpha centauri.
Rudy: Aye sir. helm, FTL speed. bridge out.
Shogun: does he need further treatment?
Doctor: i would like to keep him under examination for another 24 hours if that's alright with you.
Shogun: alright. im heading for the bridge. Aphrodite, take a room and make yourself at home.
*shogun and aphrodite leave at the same time, but go different directions*
Jumbo Omega Elevator (Joe): Level please.
Joe: thank you.
10 seconds later
Shogun: report. why have we stopped.
Rudy: unknown. investigating now. we stopped less than 2 seconds before you came onto the bridge.
Jupiter: there are 6 muerteuntergang fighters and a gatokatzen science cruiser coming from various directions!
Shogun: don't bother hailing them. the gatokatzen wouldn't willingly work with the muerteuntergang, i bet they captured the ship and killed the crew.
Hoff: they are charging weapons. prepare for battle!
Computer: the gatokatzen science vessel is hailing us.
Shogun: on viewer.
Computer avatar: this is Vancleef. I have been informed that my client has been killed. we are cancelling any previous meeting scheduled.
Computer: signal cut off at the source.
Shogun: target their reactor and fire a railgun bullet at it.
*the gatokatzen ship's reactor detonates when the railgun bullet penetrates the scarcely armored hull*
Shogun: no bodies came out of the explosion, it's unmanned. hit the cruiser with the primary laser and shoot anti-fighter flak at the muerteuntergang.
*the gatokatzen ship is vaporized and the muerteuntergang are rapidly dispatched*
Shogun: take us back to earth.
Rudy: aye sir. *rudy pushes a few buttons, galaxos turns around, and it converts into tachyons as the tachyon conversion drive activates* Tachyon conversion drive activated smoothly. we should be there in about 12 hours.
Shogun: that's a bit slow, did you slow us just enough to have a party and to give the doctor time to treat the hangovers?
Rudy: and an hour to spare. jupiter needs to work on the sensor array again.
Shogun: understood. B shift report to the bridge. my friends, shall we procede?
*everyone goes to the JOE and it takes them to the ball room*
the next day
Joshua cleerance: here's your $10,000,000 reward plus a $500,000 haste bonus.
Shogun: thank you, joshua.
Aphrodite: Father, what are you going to do with dengar?
Joshua: I'm not going to do anything to him until he breaks out of the closet. then I can interrogate him.
Shogun: my, my, of all the things I have seen you do, closet interrogation is not one of the things in your repertoire.
Aphrodite: father has been looking to expand his skill set.
Joshua: vancleef has stopped his gang activity and i have lost all competition. in order to stay sharp i must expand my skill set elsewhere, so i am interrogating.
Shogun: alright then. have a good day.
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Each story post must have 1 complete mission (doesn't have to be a long mission, could even be something as simple as saving a lost puppy), manta-ray must only be used if the mission goes beyond the scope of a mere personal problem, galaxos must not be used for anything less than that which the nameless shogun otherwise cannot normally do himself with his own abilities. Manta-ray and it's capabilities count as part of shogun's abilities. example: an indestructible tank that even an manta-ray cannot bust is worthy of orbital bombardment from galaxos. second example: manta-ray cannot use FTL so galaxos is needed for space-travel. also, Joshua cleerence must be involved in paying shogun, somehow, and Vancleef must be involved with the bad guys, somehow, and if it involves a damsel in distress, aphrodite must be included and in the damsel position.